6 Happiness Observations

As I was driving in to work this morning my mind was wandering on thoughts of happiness.  I was having an abundance of upbeat, spirited, happy thoughts.  Then I realized this has been my norm lately.  No, not every day is as perky and peppy as today but this is becoming more my norm.

There is a strong part of my personality that likes to drag me to the depths of darkness.  It used to be such a fight to stay on the lighter side of life.  Never was I clinically depressed but I had a way of getting mired in limiting thoughts.  And I have a story, we all do, of times less fortunate and less happy.  Times that were trying, terrifying, and tumultuous.  These weren't times of me being pessimistic.  These were real life, legitimate circumstances for grief.  Like I said, we all have our moments.  Life is not always unicorns and rainbows.

Having my moment has certainly taught me a number of things including having compassion for myself and others.  As well as not judging people for their actions because you never know what is behind those actions.  It has also taught me a lot about happiness and how to generate a flow of intoxicating merriment (too happy?). You get my point.

This morning I started to think about what contributes to my happiness.  What actions should I maintain to ensure continued contentment?  Here are my observations on something as esoteric as happiness:

• Frame of mind: our thought patterns have an impact on our state of happiness.  There are times when negative thought patterns of doubt, fear, anxiety, regret, guilt, shame, etc creep into our brains.  Find a way to banish these thoughts quickly and don't let them linger.  They are most likely untruths anyway.  Pick a mantra to help you reframe your thoughts.  I love Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life.  In there she suggests some good positive affirmations such as "All is well in my life.  Everything is as it should be."  This is great for irrational anxiety.  When Mommy guilt creeps in, I remind myself of all that I do for and with my children instead of focusing on the one little thing I don't do.  My mother was famous for saying to me "what will it matter in 100 years?"  However, my experience has taught me "what will it matter in 7 days?"  
  
• Get enough sleep: I am talking to you ladies!! I am sure men have their sleep issues too but I have girl parts so I am speaking to the ladies.  We try to cram everything we need to do into one day and will stay up all night to do it.  I know for a fact some of you are folding laundry until midnight or straightening up the playroom.  We are also falling into the TV trap.  How many of you are up to all hours watching The Bachelor or some Real Housewives nonsense?  When the to do list runs long, the easiest sacrifice is always sleep.  DON'T do it.  WebMD says average adults need between 7.5 and 8 hours of sleep a night.  Depending on where you are in life, you may need more sleep.  I have spent years underestimating the impact of interrupted sleep when my kids wake me up in the middle of the night. Don't cheat yourself, establish a nighttime routine that works for you and gets you into a healthy sleep pattern.

  

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• Move your body: whatever your jig is, just do it (I know, cliche)! Yoga, walking, zumba, dance, run, weights, etc.  Physical movement and exertion.  Numerous studies have shown that aerobic exercise will increase serotonin and assist in its release.  Studies have shown that yoga works too.  Don't trust me, google it.  In my opinion, exercise is key as it will also help you change your frame of mind AND help you sleep.  It's like a happiness life hack!  Moving your body will also create more body awareness, aid your physical health, and build your self-confidence.  I credit moving my body to resolving most of my mental and physical issues.

  

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• Eat clean: I am not interested in your dietary dogma (vegetarian, vegan, paleo, fruitarian, etc).  Just eat clean.  Clear out the preservatives, packaged food, artificial flavors/sweeteners, SUGAR, etc.  Eat real food.  Eat whole food. Eat a rainbow everyday.  However you want to say it.  Cut the crap from your diet and you will experience a mood boost almost immediately...well after the initial detox.  It will be well worth the time and effort it takes to clear your pantry.  Oh, and EAT FAT! Healthy fats won't make you fat...they will make you HAPPY (and leaner).  Again, you can google this one but I will give you a link to this article from Psychology Today about increased brain function from eating fat. Also, a good source for nutrition information is Dietician Cassie's website.  She recently appeared on the America's Angriest Trainer podcast with Vinnie Tortorich and Anna Voccino.

  

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• Take time for yourself: Plain and simple...put you first.  No, you aren't being selfish.  Most likely you spend 80% of your time taking care of others...children, spouses, friends, parents, siblings, pets, houses, clients.  Carve out some time each day to focus on you.  Use your time wisely to exercise, read, journal, meditate, stretch, sip coffee in silence.  Whatever your passion or pleasure is, spend time doing it.  EVERY single day!    Admittedly, I need a lot of time for myself.  I like to take the time to process my thoughts, organize myself, exercise, get enough sleep, eat well.  This all takes time.  I don't feel guilty about the time it may or may not take away from others.  I know I am a better partner, mother, daughter, business partner if I manage my time to ensure proper self care.  You will be more happy, patient, compassionate, creative.  You will be the person YOU want to be not the person everyone expects you to be. You most likely need to start with learning how to say "no"...read this.  Which leads me to my last observation:

  

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• Be Authentic: I am happiest being me.  I believe that I operate from a place of benevolent intent, self-truth and do no (intentional) harm to others (or myself).  When I operate from this place inside me, I don't second guess my decisions or worry about how others may perceive my actions.  Here is a list of 25 ways to live more authentically.

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I am by no means a "Happiness Expert".  I am just a girl on a journey like many of you.  Based on my experiences, happiness is a way of being, a choice, a desire.  Happiness is within your control and is a direct correlation to how you chose to address the rigors of life.  Command yourself to go forth and be happy. 

Dream big.  Have faith.  Love life. 

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August 2013 Goals

By the end of June I made some pretty big changes in my life.  After almost six years as a vegetarian, I started eating meat again.  I made other changes to my diet like eliminating sugar (unless from fruit), no more grains, and started eating more healthy fats.  That wasn't enough so I committed to Maffetone training for my run and bike work outs.  Like any good addict, I also added swimming to my work out plan.  I am sure some of you can see where I am going with this (maybe).  

As July approached I decided it was time to get serious and set some firm goals.  Posting them on the blog was meant to keep me honest.  I plan to add on to my goals each month.  Not to create a laundry list of things to accomplish but these goals are meant to form new habits.  So each month will be a build...an opportunity to create new habits.  Here is how July came together:
 

1. Continue with my heart rate training (I’ve GOT this!) - 
• UPDATE: what possessed me to take this on during the hottest and most humid days of the year?  I did the very best I could.  Some days were more successful than others.  Some days were euphoric.  Some days were soul crushing. By the end of July, I learned how to dream big; have faith; believe in myself; embrace fear; and be committed.  Somehow I emerged from July a new person largely due to my running.  I have discussed it previously on the blog here and here.
2. Complete FOUR 90 minute runs - 
• UPDATE: I fell a little short here due to a family vacation in Vermont.  I just wasn't prepared to tackle 90 minutes of mountainous terrain.  Optimistically I declare this goal a success.  I have worked my way up to 90+ minute runs.  I feel myself getting stronger each time and I look forward to the challenge.
3. Increase my monthly mileage by 10% - 
• UPDATE: While there was an increase in my run mileage, I fell just short of 10%.  I am going to take the liberty and say this is due to a MUCH slower pace in the heat and humidity.  Additionally, I have been running for time, not mileage.
4. Get in the pool - 
• UPDATE: OK, I rocked the sh!t out of this goal! Three weeks ago I could not string two lengths together for form a single lap.  As of my last swim, I swam 1500 yards consecutively.  I have been in the pool twice a week.  It is quickly becoming my favorite work out.
5. Keep the diet changes consistent so I know if the changes are working - 
• UPDATE: I have been very consistent but flexible.  I am experimenting to find foods that work for me and make my body feel good.  The reduction of sugar and increase in healthy fats have all had a very positive effect on my body.  The biggest change I have noticed is my mental functioning.  I seem to have more mental energy.

Sauteed shaved Brussel Sprouts,
Beets, and Salmon

I am trying a new format for my monthly goals.  I will be breaking them up into three categories: Family, Sport, and Life.  Here are my August 2013 Goals:

Family:

• As we wrap up the summer and camp winds down, i will be looking forward to my time off with the kids.  I take two weeks off to bridge the gap between camp and school starting.  Last year the kids and i really enjoyed our time together to slow life down and focus on what really matters in life...each other.  My goal is to be fully present with my children during these two weeks and make sure we cross things off our summer bucket list.

Sport:

• Here are my goals for the three disciplines:
  • • Running: I am going to continue with Maffetone training for a large part of my runs (and cycling).  However, I think I should also throw in some opportunities to run at my goal pace.
    • Cycling: use the bike to effectively cross train and work on increasing strength.  No hard numbers from x mph to x mph.  No pressure.  Just improve...for now.
    • Swimming: I am still working on getting comfortable in the water.  Since i know I can swim 1500 yards, I want to increase that to 2000 yards by the end of August.  No pressure here either.
• YOGA! I need to make the time for a regular yoga practice.  August's goal is to do 5 sun salutations a day (preferably in the morning) AND find one yoga class a week that I can attend.

Life:

• Organization:
  • • We are a busy family and life has been moving a little too fast lately.  I am going to slow life down, focus on getting myself re-organized, and settled in.  This means physically organizing my space to serve my family's current needs.  
    • As I look to set my family's fall schedule, I will NOT over schedule us.  I may have to say "no" to a kids activity here or there but we will all be better off in the end.
• Nutrition:
• Continue eating the way I have been these last few months: lots of vegetables, higher fat, moderate animal protein, no sugars, no grains.  I am not concerned with diets and dogma.  What matters most is how I feel.

Can't remember where I found this but
it pretty much describes where I am right now.

What are some of your goals for August? How do you plan on spending the rest of the summer?